Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Close the door but leave it open

The necessities of anorexia to do what needs to be done.
If they need to do something - they have to do it.

So when shopping, and they have to purchase items that we don't need...
I said no. She didn't listen. I said no again, and a 15 year old tantrum occured.

That was 2 days ago. The door was closed. I haven't been spoken to.
Last night she needed something. I need a prescription to get it.
3 weeks ago she said she had enough until the end of January - what happened to it.
The GP is away until the end of the month, and the clinic is closed.

She has enough for 3 days - she could have a substitution, but substitutions don't exist for anorexia. But I think I stay calm. I think I leave her with the substitutions. It isn't out of neglect or spite or lack of love. Her meal plan hasn't changed since October. This substitution would mean a change, and is she ready for this? can she cope with this?

She eats exactly the same every day. She has put on weight, but she is still anorexic. She is nearly out of the danger stage, but she is still anorexic.

She has the same anorexic manerisms that she had 3 months ago.
When she wants she is fine - more than fine.
But then she closes the door. It is open, but I wouldn't go in.

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